When filming a prison interview, the one thing you don't do is keep a shot tape in the camera, in case they ask you to hand it over. When you're producing a home makeover show, the one thing you don't do is become the middleman between a homeowner and a contractor, because you effectively become the contractor. When directing No Reservations, the one thing you don't do is tell Tony what to say because, well, you just don't.
I've worked with a few different hosts and a lot of times, you just feed 'em lines. It's not disingenuous or manipulative. When you do, you have no choice.
We set out to explore Hawaii's central myths - Tiki bars, luaus, Spam, the Vulcan Goddess, and, of course, big wave riding. And when I say "big wave" I mean the 30 foot vertical wall that boys from Palm Beach to Palm Springs gaze up at from their bunk beds before going to sleep at night. After all, this is the Bourdain Show, the man's eaten a wart hog's ass - it has to be spectacular.
to the effect of “I wish I had your job” or “You have my dream job” usually
directed at one of the ‘No Reservations’ producers.
I recently had the opportunity to observe producer/director Paul Cabana and
segment producer Rennik Soholt “living the dream” as it were and it was
an interesting reality check.
I met the whole crew when they arrived at our hotel in Tokyo with the intention of taping their arrival. They were coming off of a week in Laos and looked it. In fact, they looked so sick, tired and out of it I actually took pity on them and turned off my camera.
A few months ago when the first cold front hit New York, I was contentedly sunning on a beach in Greece. I’ll admit it, I have a great job. Whenever the topic comes up with new friends or acquaintances, without fail the first question asked is “Do you need an assistant?” The next is invariably “Do you have to eat all the gross stuff that Tony does?”
Contrary to popular belief the vast majority of the food we encounter is far from bizarre, it’s delicious. Still it’s true; occasionally I’m forced to eat something I find kind of nasty, like that steamed shark’s head in Singapore. In the interest of not offending our proud and generous hosts, the crew knows when faced with this situation, to smile and politely choke it down. Not such a big deal. Refusing, as Tony says, would be to “bring shame upon the clan.”
Tony: I love you like a brother – but after hearing you talk about the difficulty of our caving adventure in Jamaica, I needed to chime in here! I’m convinced you’ve become, as your British pals might say, a big girl’s blouse.
You wrote that this was “the hardest, most physically demanding, insanely foolhardy and irresponsible venture ever on NO RESERVATIONS”. Really? I know your memory is somewhat selective, but can I remind you of such shoots as Malaysia, where we hauled ass through the jungles of Sarawak for 6 hours, trying to keep up with our 80-something-year-old, amazingly fit Iban guide? Or New Zealand, where we huffed and puffed up 45-degree-angle hills to hunt a 400-pound wild boar – an angry boar that could have turned on any of us at a given moment, carving us into carpaccio?
Yeah, Sweden. I’d appreciate you not sharing with me any further insights on the
that show until after publication of my 3 volume critical analysis/after action report with
the working title, “Sweden: An ABBA Joke Too Far”.
Moving on…
For no particularly good reason I’ve been allowed to accompany the ABNR crew on the
shoot for the upcoming Japan show which I’ll start editing when we return.
I am sitting in my office at Zero Point Zero trying to figure out exactly how we are going to get Queens of the Stone Age out to New York in the middle of their U.S. Tour when my phone rings. It is Chris, the Executive Producer of the show, and when he tells me where I am going on my next shoot, I nearly drop the phone out of my hand.
Chris says that Tony is going to New Orleans, and it is going to be a different kind of “No Reservations”…
I know it sounds strange that a statement like that could cause me enough shock to lose my grip on the handset of my office phone, but let me explain…
By Nari Kye
Sleep, the night before
leaving for a shoot, is a lost battle.
Every possible disaster scenario goes around and around in my head over
and over again. Since this was my
first official Associate Producer gig, I needed everything to go
perfectly. I had to prove to Tony,
Chris and rest of the crew I was a valuable asset. Releases, scenes, chefs, costs then the next thing I know,
the alarm goes off and the day has come:
shoot day 1.
By Paul Cabana, Producer
DAY ONE
First time
producer on Bourdain. looking forward to a cakewalk - what could go wrong? (1)
Tony’s car to the airport an hour late. (2) he’s pissed. that surly
intimidating TV persona? Not so much for TV. (3) Economy Plus should be renamed
Business Minus. We’re sitting four across like we’re strapped on a roller
coaster. The symbolism doesn’t escape me. (4) I switch seats with Todd who
claims he has a phobia of middle seats. Note to self: watch out for The Todd.
(5) We arrive in the UK and still haven’t confirmed our key scene, Marco Pierre
White. (6) We’re testing new cameras on this shoot and find some big glitches:
the big one is the focus ring. It’s way off. (9) Todd and Zach really annoyed.
Not exactly a smooth start.