This is How We Do It

By No Reservations Crew on August 21, 2008 3:31 PM | Permalink | 18 Comments

By Rennik Soholt, producer

So I have this damn phone stuck to my face ...

"You can't shoot THAT!" says our government minder.

"What?" I ask, through my phone.

With a dirty-toothed smile, "That, um, food cart. There are many places that are much nicer. Wouldn't you rather shoot there?"

"Where?" I ask with a pleasant, but deeply evil smile on my face, knowing this game like the back of my hand.

"Um" the minder sputters "anywhere but HERE. I was told..."

My mind starts wandering to other essentials as I look at the obviously fearful look on my poor, ABNR-virgin, cameraman's face. I squint, look bored, half smile and reassuredly, but ever-so-slightly, nod. Wink to Tracey. Street scene on. Ba-bang.

"You know ___________, I need to go to the toilet. Can you help me?" I ask earnestly while doing the "little-boy-leg-shifting-pee-pee-dance."

"Yes, right this way. I can help you," he says with the authority of a bureaucrat who actually means what he is saying, but doesn't get to say it very often.

We're off. Down an alley. Thru a gate. Large door. Man in uniform. Arabic spoken. Nods all around. Down a hall. Thru another door. Smell of excrement. Bingo. Government minder waits outside.

Now remember, I still have a phone stuck to my face. It's been there for days...l.i.t.e.r.a.l.l.y. Thank god for international cells. Tracey and I came to Egypt 3 days early to scout. Crew coming in on different days from different locations. Potential logistical hell. The pollution here makes Athens or Mexico City feel like clean oases of Swiss modernity. The noise of Cairo is literally as loud as "being 10 feet from a freight train." I read that somewhere. No joke. Government bureaucrat hell. Permits. You have them, don't worry. Well, you might have them by next week. "Next week" I yell. "We're shooting tomorrow." Well, you can shoot the pyramids. Ummm, actually, no you can't shoot the pyramids. "Forget the pyramids, can we shoot in the streets of Cairo?" You can't shoot ANYthing on the street. We know of some nice restaurants you would LOVE to shoot in, though. The Hilton has a great "Middle Eastern-style" restaurant with dancing and traditional music. Very clean. Tourists go there. You'll feel safe. You will LOVE it! Ahhhhhhhhh!

So I'm on the phone with the network, with Tony, with our Executive Producers, with the Egyptian government, with the airline, with customs officers, with the US government, with my mom ("help!"). I keep switching calls to our "fixers" when the Arabic becomes, well, irreplaceable with English. But I have to transfer the call. I can't hand mine over ... cause it's stuck to my F***ING face!

Thank god our fixers have phones. So from within the stall, I text, "SHOOT the scene. Shoot the scene!" And then, I take my time. I pretend I'm going #2, which requires more time in a world without toilet seats or toilet paper.

Just another day on ABNR ...

Tags: blog , anthony bourdain , anthony bourdain blog , crew blog , zero point zero , egypt , no reservations , travel channel , tv show , series , rennik , soholt , foodie , foodies , tony bourdain

18 Comments

1

Kate in the NW - August 21 2008 @ 6:09 pm Wow. Talk about a ****** job...(sorry, I couldn't resist...!) Thanks to you and the whole crew for not taking the easy way out.
2

Thomas Condon - August 21 2008 @ 6:19 pm I have been to Kuwait, Jordan and Iraq, among other places in the world and had thought it would be "fun" to join Tony and the crew as a sound man in their romp through Third World locales. The operative phrasing is "had thought" as I have changed my mind. I enjoy being a viewer and no longer entertain fantasies of going on the road as a part of the crew. Don't mistake my internal change of heart as any sort of dislike of the series or host. On the contrary, I admire the project and all the adventuring...from a distance. Keep up the good work and know that, were I 30 years younger, I would be camped out at the production office's doorway. Now, however...(how do I put this?...) I live vicariously, having to fast-forward some of the less delicate foodstuffs Tony prepares and eats. (I mean...slaughtering your own animal???). Take care, Thomas Condon Bellevue, WA
3

MessyONE - August 23 2008 @ 2:20 pm Holy glory hole, Batman! You should have brought me. The Boy swears that I can find a public toilet within half a mile anywhere in the world. I can also find a cold beer in places that where I don't speak the language. I consider these things basic life skills. He's better at public transit than I am, though. I can't imagine the logistics issues you have to deal with. It's bad enough coordinating two people, let alone the crowd you have to contend with. I'm glad someone can handle it!
4

june-baby - August 24 2008 @ 7:45 pm You found a hole in the wall bathroom... Uh or should I say a hole on the floor bathroom, and a phone stuck to your face. Rennik your so talented talking on the phone and pretending to go to the bathroom at the same time Tony would be so proud of you (LOL).
5

Jessi - September 08 2008 @ 6:52 am ku-dos, to the NoRes crew. where would Tony, or we, the adoring, addicted, hungry-for-more fans be without you?
6

Paul Papanek - September 15 2008 @ 9:01 pm Can you tell me what cameras you use? The footage always looks great. And - are you shooting HD or standard def? If HD, what resolution? Thanks in advance... Paul
7

christine - September 26 2008 @ 9:54 pm I'd be interested to know if you were stressed at all over the political situation. My brother is there now on vacation and my mom is set on going. I'm kinda freaked out about the political climate, and the recent kidnappings did nothing to encourage me. I guess you take chances wherever you go (just ask tourists to NYC) but how did the country feel, outside of the obvious "shoot the tourist-friendly sites" atmosphere you encountered? As for toilets, if you're gonna be punk rock, you just go for it. Good work.
8

Rachel Lowry - September 27 2008 @ 5:36 pm Wow, putting yourself at risk to get a shot? That's some major guts, my friend, the kind I dig! Until I watched the Beirut episode, I had no idea what you guys go through to tape these shows. Thanks for putting so much on the line to show us the world, which many of us wouldn't be able to see otherwise - we're poor! Hehe. It is sad that the world has become so dangerous and secretive and isolated - I have a feeling that such a frame of mind can't hold on too much longer, and the world is due for a big change. Be careful out there, and keep fearlessly enjoying every minute of it.
9

kath - November 12 2008 @ 12:41 pm
Enjoyed the crew blog. How many crew members attend each shoot? Do you have 3 cameramen? Any audio?
Thanks.
10

BOPP - November 15 2008 @ 12:56 pm
I appreciate all the stuff you go through to produce the fantastic shows. Cheers and keep up the great work!
11

Traci - January 02 2009 @ 9:15 pm
the episode rocked!.........
glad you didnt drop the phone
12

David - January 28 2009 @ 6:28 pm
Now you have experience to stay calm in the midst of a storm.
13

becayiş - September 02 2009 @ 10:09 am
Cheers and keep up the great work!
14

aksaray - September 09 2009 @ 11:07 am
Do you have 3 cameramen?
15

oyunlar - September 12 2009 @ 7:14 pm
The Boy swears that I can find a public toilet within half a mile anywhere in the world. I can also find a cold beer in places that where I don't speak the language. I consider these things basic life skills. He's better at public transit than I am, though.
16

onlain_film - September 18 2009 @ 9:35 am
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17

rk-design - October 19 2009 @ 9:39 am
Евроремонт квартир, капитальный ремонт и дизайн интерьера квартир
18

kino-get - October 23 2009 @ 9:35 pm
Kino-Get - скачать кино фильмы на высокой скорости одним файлом с ftp

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