No Reservations Crew Blog

Under the Abbaya: Female Producers in Saudi Arabia

By Amy Teuteberg, Producer

"Did you have to wear the black thing?"

Just got back from my first "No Reservations" road trip, and the number one question from friends, family and co-workers isn't about the food, the shoot, or how it was to work with Tony. It's about what I had to wear.
Of course, the question is less about the garment, than how far I had to go to conform. It's about what the garment represents, or at least what everyone thinks it represents. It's about what it was like to be a woman working in Saudi Arabia.

I'm a producer. That means I'm ultimately responsible for everything that happens on a shoot: directing, story, logistics, details, feeding, transporting, lodging, gear, crew happiness, you name it. Big job, but I don't do it alone. My right arm is known as a Segment Producer, and is an unbelievably crucial member of the team. This position was also held by a woman, Nari Kye. Of course the winner of the contest, ultimately responsible for making it all happen, was Danya Alhamrani, yet another woman.

And yes, we all wore the black thing. It's called an abbaya, and it's basically a long-sleeved, floor-length dress that you pull over your head, and wear over your clothes. We also covered our hair with matching black scarves, so three women in abbayas produced an episode of "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" in Saudi Arabia. Oh, but I'm leaving out someone else who moved mountains making this episode: Dania Nassief, yep, another woman.

How did a group of women pull off a TV show in a country where women can't drive, can't vote, and really aren't supposed to hang out with non-related males? Well, they have a saying in Danya's hometown, "Jeddah is different." And for the record, so is she.

When we stepped off the plane after a brutally long flight from New York, I had no idea what to expect. Would Nari and I be shunned, ignored, treated like a lesser by the men we'd come in contact with? Having spent the last 15 years working as a woman in a male-dominated industry, I didn't really worry about it, since I've been dealing with that crap for years. That said, I've never had to do it in a country where the separation of the sexes was so strictly enforced by both law and culture.

One of the first and most obvious signs of that division was the abbaya. You can't help but notice, since literally every woman is wearing one. Most men wear a thobe, which is a long white cotton tunic, worn over white pants. So it's women in black, men in white. Needless to say, the contrast is striking. After all, what could be more "black and white" than black and white?

But that wasn't the only sign. In fact, there were literally signs, signs denoting separate male and female entrances for mosques, the "single" section (for men only) and a "family" section (for men and women) at many restaurants. No women allowed in the hotel pool. At the hotel restaurant, Nari and I were seated behind a screen, which Nari called it our "pen", separating us from male diners. I found myself wondering, "If even the breakfast buffet is segregated, how are we going to make this work?"

Nari and I had arrived ahead of the crew, to scout, bring over the equipment, and take care of last minute details. For about a week, we worked with Danya and Dania (names pronounced the same) taking care of the gazillion details that go into making a TV show. It took about 15 minutes in their company to realize that the separation of the sexes may dictate seating arrangements in certain restaurants, but it was not going to get in the way of making this show. Although the law may prevent the Danyas from literally taking the driver's seat, it did not prevent them from taking charge. Together they were an abbaya-clad dynamic duo of problem-solving, refusing to take no as an answer from anyone, male or female, that got in the way - my kind of ladies.

We also worked with a lot of local men: drivers, government officials and a "fixer" helping us out. Nearly every place we shot was male-owned, operated and staffed, and a whole host of male characters lent a hand along the way. And you know how all of them responded to women in charge? Great. Actually, they were a lot more than great. They were about the most warm, wonderful, welcoming group of people that you could possibly imagine. That bunch, with Danya at its center, was an extraordinary collection of people.

Now, before you think I drank the Kool-Aid, there was also plenty of evidence that things aren't exactly free and equal. Case in point: Danya and Dania operate Saudi Arabia's first female-owned production company granted permission to work without a male present. The first. And it took them over five years of fighting the system to get that paperwork in place. So they're not the norm, they're trailblazers.

And of course, Danya is no ordinary woman. She's pretty much the definition of extraordinary, and absolutely one of the strongest women I've ever met. Having grown up between Jeddah and North Dakota, she's got a pretty unique perspective on the similarities and differences between our cultures. There are an incredible number of things that I learned from her on this journey, including some unexpected perspective on the practice of wearing abbaya.

I should probably mention that I hate the idea of anyone telling me what to wear. I shun uniforms and conformity, they completely freak me out. So you can imagine how surprised I was to find that I didn't really mind wearing an abbaya. Ok, forget all the symbolic meaning for a second. For starters, it's practical. You never have to think about what you're wearing. You can toss it over a bikini or your jammies, and head out the door. And yes, I did both.

It's also the best way to blend in that you can imagine. Working on the show, the last thing that you want to do is call attention to yourself, since all eyes belong on Tony and Danya. Producers are there to get the show made, and need to find a way of making that happen, while blending into the woodwork. I can't imagine a better way of doing that than wearing an abbaya. Accidentally stumble into a shot? No problem. Instead of out-of-place Western eyesore, I look like a local.

Of course it goes without saying that you also want to respect all the local laws, customs, and tradition and in that sense, no problem. Abbaya-me.

But besides all that, I began to realize how the abbaya affects the way you communicate with women, how it shifts your focus. Without all the visual cues that wardrobe, hair, or even subtleties of gesture provide to help you "see" someone, you begin to read them in a different way. The art of conversation and eye contact gain more weight, because that's all you've got. The face, where attention really belongs in the first place, is where it stays. It forces you to work harder to see someone, and to pay deeper attention to the words coming out of their mouth. Certainly the most important abbaya-related thought I had had during the trip. Ironic that I didn't even notice all this was happening, till the first time I saw Danya take off her abbaya.

Although everyone wears an abbaya in public, it comes off at home. When you are hanging out with friends or family, no abbaya necessary. Underneath, many women dress just like they do in New York: skirts, heels, low cut tops, you name it. One particularly scorching day, after Danya, Nari and I had spent hours scouting locations in the desert sun, we had a meeting in my hotel room. The second the door shut behind us, we tossed our sweat-drenched abbayas and head-scarves to the floor. Danya was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. For the first time, I could see her hair, her arms, her legs. I noticed immediately how different this felt. In some ways, it was like I was seeing her for the first time. Like a layer that was new and more intimate had been revealed. I realized in that moment that that was likely the point of the abbaya, or at least part of it. It's saving that kind of intimacy for those that are close to you, your friends and family, who have earned the privilege. For the first time, I saw that the abbaya may have a role in protecting women, and not as something simply designed to control them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating for the abbaya. I don't want to see them parading down the runways, in a window on 5th Avenue, or on the sale rack over at Old Navy. I don't want to see rules about women's or men's clothing anywhere of any sort. I can't even get behind the idea of Black Tie. And honestly, in terms of focusing communication, none of us should require an abbaya to make that happen. Still, having that simple "abbaya insight" felt like an incredibly important step toward understanding Danya's culture. And isn't that exactly what travel is all about? Taking a walk in someone else's shoes, or under their abbaya, and trying to find a way of seeing things from their perspective.

I've been back in New York for about a week now. Last night as I walked home, I was thinking about how much I missed Danya, her incredible laugh, and the warmth and hospitality of her friends and family. The spell was broken when a stranger approached me, offering a graphic description of something he'd like to do involving his face and my backside. For a second, I couldn't help but miss my abbaya.

 

Posted by: No Reservations Crew
  1. 1.
    Eleanor

    Thank you; this is a viewpoint that would never have occurred to me on my own, especially about reserving a layer of intimacy for people who are actually close to you. Really, really interesting, and a lot to think about. I very much enjoyed reading it.

  2. 2.
    Sharifa

    Thank you so much for bringing in this refreshing perspective. I am a hijab-wearing Muslim girl born and raised in the US, and sometimes I feel like others can never really understand or believe the reason I cover up, so I hope people can understand through your experience.

  3. 3.
    Ali

    The government should not dictate what you have to wear out of doors. Allahu akbar!

  4. 4.
    Christina

    I hope Tony and the crew are planning to travel to other Middle East countries in the future. It did open my eyes when he travelled to Lebanon. Seeing him made me want to try Lebanese food. I've been to Jordan and it was such an eye opener that not all women there wear abaya or hijab. So not every middle east countries are alike in its culture, food, or way of life.

  5. 5.
    june-baby

    Amy, Thanks for sharing your experience in Saudi Arabia. I myself am looking forward to watching this episode of NR. I'am interested to see what this Middle Eastern country has to offer, who knows maybe I will add Saudi Arabia to my list of places to visit and experience a culture that I do not understand. I know this episode of NR will show a new and unique part of the world for us outsiders who have not experienced the culture, food and daily lives of the citzens in Saudi Arabia. As a female myself it will be interesting to see how females in Saudi Arabia live their lives in a society that can be male dominated. I'am glad Tony chose Danya as the Fan-natic winner.

  6. 6.
    Jessica

    I really enjoyed this article and will pass it on to my friends. Even though you were in a place where the clothes were black or white you chose to see a shade of gray. I am also glad that you filmed in Saudi Arabia because maybe it will help people to see how similar we all really are not matter what our cultural landscape is. Thanks!

  7. 7.
    Jim

    Nice entry! I enjoyed reading this blog. I would love to know what Nari's perspective on the trip was. I think she hasn't written a blog since the Vancouver episode.

  8. 8.
    Kaytie

    I really enjoyed this blog. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I can't wait to see the show.

  9. 9.
    Michele

    I too enjoyed reading your blog. I especially liked your perspective regarding the pros and cons of having to wear the abbaya. It sounds like you learned a lot and enjoyed yourself. In a land that seems so fundamentally different from what we know here in the US, you were able to experience what unites all of us. Thanks for sharing!

  10. 10.
    Pat Mc

    Thank you for sharing your experiences as a Western woman visiting such a different culture re:womens' roles, attire, etc. What I found most enlightening is that there were positive aspects about wearing the abbaya, and this would never have occurred to me-- it always raises my hackles to be dictated to in matters of dress, and yet you convinced me that I might have embraced the experience ! Best of all, I just love that underneath, they're wearing the same clothes we do!

  11. 11.
    Nadja

    I'm an American Muslim woman who wears the hijab and dresses in conformity to Islamic law but I do not wear the abaya. There are many ways to meet the religious requirements for modesty, and wearing a black bag is not the only one. What bothers me about the Saudis and certain other countries is that they insist on governmental mandates requiring a specific "uniform" that is culturally, not religiously, defined. That said, the purpose of hijab is a protection for women, and when *both* men and women dress modestly, it is amazing how much superficial garbage ceases to be important. On the other hand, I do own an Afghani chaduri (burqa) which is great when door to door salesmen come calling. B^)

  12. 12.
    jb

    thank you for writing about your experience. i have always wondered about the female experience on NR. i understand the show's format is all-about-tony, and that's fine, but he does travel w/ women crew members and i frequently wonder about their experience in certain locations. i was very interested to read your account. re: saudi arabia and the muslim world... i admire your patience w/ a segregated society. i would not be so patient. seated behind a screen in a restaurant, not allowed in a pool, mandatory ways to dress...women being discriminated against and punished because of the bad behavior of men. put the men behind screens! segregate them! i feel sorry for the women who have to live like this, with few rights or freedoms, but i also admire these women for their strength and their resourceful ways of living in a culture that does not seem to value women very much at all, outside of being a wife, mother, cook, & housekeeper

  13. 13.
    Erik Person

    I know that South-East Asia is a favorite of the show, and that there is not much interest in the Middle East. What saddens me is that of all the countries that made up this region Saudi Arabia was the one chosen to go to. It's government actively pursues a policy of spreading Wahhabi and supporting fundamental insurgent groups such as the Taliban, IMU, and the HT to name a few. All of these groups hold as a central tenant that violence against Shia is good. Islam is as diverse as its people, by the forcing of Wahhabi extremism onto its population. In this time of great fear of the Arab boogie-man, I wish that the show would focus on the nation-states in the region that are trying increase human rights, such as Jordan, or the U.A.E. I work with the refugee families that are coming into this country, and try to help them adjust to the culture, paying power bills, and going shopping, (It's really tough to find Halal meats). Sunni, Shia, Sufi, Christian they have all welcomed me into their homes, enriching my family. I say this because I am, as well as many of the people in this region, tired of the American perceptions of Islam, and Arabs coming from Saudi Arabia. I hope that in the future the show will do a couple of other nation-states from the region that are better representations of the diversity in believes, food, and culture from the region that has such a unique beauty that is too often ignored because of politics.

  14. 14.
    Annonymous

    Yes. Good point, but I don't think an abaya is necessary to develop that sort of sensitivity... Observant Jewish women dress modestly, skirts past the knees, elbows and collarbones covered, legs covered by tights, married women cover their hair etc. etc. This very effectively develops that sensitivity without taking away their individuality.

  15. 15.
    Nicole

    I often find myself jealous of women who wear a hijab. Jewish Law dictates that married women should cover their hair, but having been raised secular, I am afraid of being rejected by friends and co-workers if I make such a shift. I like the concept that such intimacy be reserved for those who have earned it, my husband, my family, my close friends. I think women in the US who cover without regard to what others think are brave, and I respect that. I wish I were so brave.

  16. 16.
    Kim

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Your last illustration to me gets at the frustration of considering a garment such as an abbaya a protection - I would really rather be thinking about how to get every single man in the world to own up to the way their interactions with women impact us, as opposed to it being in our hands to protect ourselves from the ever-possible harassment. At any rate, I don't mean that comment to take away from the impact of your post, but it struck me reading that as the coda to this story, it's always on women to bear the responsibility, or the garment, isn't it?

  17. 17.
    Marlene Alexander

    Wow! This blog is really an eye opener for me and I'm sure for many! Would really like to see a show that highlights these points, how these women are really like most women and perservere over such oppressive things in their culture, and become stronger. In the fact you bring up how women can read each other, etc. Myself, a woman, and also experienced life (in a sub-culture), (but in the U.S.), where women are subservant and/or below men, this actually fine tunes a woman and her senses. Her capability to read and sense and see what is going on. To see deeper than the average bear. Sorry if I'm sounding odd, but in a nut shell, your experience, can be related to, here in the U.S. as well... Thx, Mar

  18. 18.
    Mike

    Saudi Arabia... been there done that. It's a festering stink hole where every day jobs are contracted out to pathetic third world workers from festering stink holes worse than.. well, Saudi Arabia. A land where anyone with a modicum of financial freedom feels free to fly abroad and drink alcohol and play with whores, all the while maintaining a facade of religious piety back home. If they didn't have oil, they'd have no worth. Just my two halala worth.

  19. 19.
    ebradlee10

    Loved the Saudi Arabia show. Great work putting it all together in a unique culture.

  20. 20.
    bob

    how were guys you able to walk around in public with Tony, as he isn't your relative or husband and thus prohibited by Sharia? Was it because of Jeddah being fairly "hip" or because of Danya's connections in society there?

  21. 21.
    Cyrena

    I enjoyed reading your post. It helped to cap off another great eye opening NR experience. This definitely ranks up there in my top 5 episodes.

  22. 22.
    G. Chai

    Without calling attention to what went into the scenes (or abbayas or thobes!), the show was spectacular. Kudos to all involved in creating a terrific show.

  23. 23.
    joseph singer

    The Bush administration and the U.S. military would have us believe that they are nation building. This episode made me realize that Anthony's show is doing just that but with a much more enlightened and effective method. Cheers to all of you on a show with dignity and the ability to nurture tolerence.

  24. 24.
    Amanda

    I really enjoyed this blog. I found the point of view very refreshing and inspiring. I LOVE THE SHOW !!!!!!! I work at a michigan hillbilly bar and I have the show on sunday afternoons when I am working,for the reruns and the farmers always derive some crazy conversation from it. It makes for a less boring work shift. I feel I am creating No Reservation Fans out of non suspecting rednecks. I love it !!!

  25. 25.
    Lboog1

    Your blog was educational and insightful. Keep up the good work.

  26. 26.
    Justine

    Amy - my congrats to you! Not only did you produce such a great show you made a very important show. My daughter and I watched it tonight in wonder, curiosity and laughter. I already told Tony via blog comment that I still hope for a week to hang out with him one day (I'd really be happy with a handshake or even a shared drink) ... tonight I really want to hang out with Danya. Between her, her really elegant (read: nothing bubbly - but again Tony picked her) enthusiasm for The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, she gets it - all countries have something to offer and one is really no better than the next. And I know she didn't work alone - I really enjoyed your blog on this production. Your blog probably gave the best insight on working and living in abbaya. I have had Muslim friends try to explain it; Danya really helped illustrate the principle, and as a western woman (especially one with so much authority) you really brought it home. I will not convert tomorrow or ever, but between the show and the blogs I have a new appreciation for the Muslim ideals. Tony's visit to Saudi Arabia was extremely important, and I'm really glad it happened. Cheers, and keep it up!

  27. 27.
    Momin Khan

    I/we love this show, but really appreciate how well done the Saudi episode was made. On top of that, this blog was a very open minded interpretation of the region and the dress, I applaud everyone involved for their efforts. This episode was so well done, it has inspired me to put together a tape for a very special city/country to me(I'm not sure how long it will take me to make it, but I believe we could put on a great show). Anyways, kudos to all involved with this show, and this episode specially.

  28. 28.
    tk

    While your realizations about the abbaya were interesting, I do find it curious that this extreme Muslim tradition garnered more reflection and respect than the religious and cultural traditions of Orthodox Jews and Christians, especially those in our own country. It's clear to me, after years of watching A Cook's Tour and NR, that Anthony has little interest or compulsion to "enlighten" his viewers about some of the more "haunting" and "beautiful" traditions of those who adhere to a Christian belief system that represents over 33% of the world's population. I suppose Mosques, Temples, and Buddhist Shrines are eminently more fascinating. The idea of modest dress as more of a women's "rights" issue escapes most American women. But to many devout Christian and Jewish women, it is completely empowering to be able to choose who will have the privilige of "seeing" us in our most private moments. We decide who is worthy of that honor. However, the difference between the Muslim and Jewish and Christian cultures is that the former legally enforces the extreme modesty and strips the freedom from the woman to come to her own conclusions.

  29. 29.
    Annonymous

    You failed to show the real Saudi Arabia. Did you hide all artifacts that are non-Islamic? Did you not have to ride in the back of segregated buses? Did the stores not close when they saw you approach? What you experienced was well planned propaganda. As an American woman who has lived in Saudi, I know the difference and you failed to show your viewers it.

  30. 30.
    Kim

    Thank you for this great post. I had read it before the show and it was very helpful in explaining to my 9 year old daughter why the women wore the abbaya.

  31. 31.
    Kris

    You say, " I saw that the abbaya may have a role in protecting women, and not as something simply designed to control them." Society has always claimed that they need to control women's behavior in order to protect them. If the Saudi government were so interested in protecting women, they wouldn't have forced young women to stay in a school building that was burning because they weren't properly covered (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/1874471.stm). If the Saudi government were concerned with protecting women, they wouldn't sentence a rape victim to 200 lashes for having sexual relations with an unrelated male - her rapist (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/16/world/middleeast/16saudi.html?ref=todayspaper). Please, don't try to pretend this corrupt, despicable regime is anything other than totalitarian and mysoginistic. The laws are not there to protect anyone or anything other than the Saud family power.

  32. 32.
    Grace

    Shame that the world can't work on making men realise that women shouldn't need an abbaya or dress rules or curfews or restrictions on movement in order to protect them from men. The assumption of most societies seems to be that men can't be controlled, so the women have to be. I appreciate this essay quite a bit, despite my prickliness about how the abbaya came to seem reasonable. If only men who refuse to respect women as equals could be held responsible for their actions...

  33. 33.
    david K.

    Hi-- Excellent show--and great blog post. But having read the blog, I only really have one question. If Nari was over there, why wasn't she on the show! Feel free to forward my email to Nari ;-) Dave

  34. 34.
    Brenda

    Bravo! What an excellent show and great insights into the country of Saudi Arabia! I really loved reading your thoughts on the abaya, and having been to Saudi Arabia myself and worn the abaya, too, I can understand your transformation of thought on wearing it. When I returned from my first trip I was asked the same thing- did you have to wear that black thing? Not "what did you do, what did you see, how were the people?" Americans are obsessed with the abaya. But I found it more comfortable and easy to blend in, too. I work for a company that organizes tours to the Middle East and we always get questions about women in the region and Saudi Arabia in particular. I will tell everyone to visit this blog and read about your experiences and about the show. Job well done to all!!

  35. 35.
    Gina

    Don't kid yourself, you do sound like you drank the "Kool-aid."

  36. 36.
    Hopetound

    excellent post

  37. 37.
    Penny

    You Blog was excellent....a GREAT behind the scenes look...that opened up new ways of thinking, for me about women in Arabic societies and the Abaya.... For me, it seemed.. it could almost be seen as reprieve ....from the constant pressure of looking good, the makeup, the clothes. So much of what we put into our outside appearance, which causes ludicrous amounts pressure, on the inside...perhaps we (I) can learn something from this

  38. 38.
    human

    While I appreciate your willingness for "cultural understanding", I don't appreciate you defending the flimsy and disrespectful reasoning for the abbaya. Exactly why do you think that it is acceptable to have to (legally, culturally, religiously) hide the "shame" that is a female body in order to be treated as a human? It reinforces the belief that any assault/harrassment/discrimination against a woman by man is her own fault - simply for owning the prerequisite girl parts. How is that fair as "protection"? Of course some of the women underneath are strong and likeable. Most of us have realized that there are actual people under the cloth, capable of possessing actual human traits! You seem to have missed the point entirely.

  39. 39.
    Hala

    Amy, thank you for the post. I have worn the abbaya and found it to be suffocating, demoralizing, and dehumanizing. In short it felt like a violation of my very basic human rights (the right to exist, to breathe and move freely). I cannot share your views with adapting to local customs, but respect that you had no choice. Until Saudi Arabia welcomes me exposed, I will not travel there again.

  40. 40.
    Ana Cristina

    As a woman, I have always been dismissive of the abbaya and cultures that force women to don them. I used to view these practices as oppressive and primitive. This episode forced me to rethink all that, as did this blog. Thank you for expanding my horizons. Great work on a fabulous episode - one of my new favorites.

  41. 41.
    Bobbie

    Like most of those whose comments precede mine, I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. It is so important that we "get" that platitude that we are all far more alike than we are different--and by "we" I mean all of us: Your incursions into these places provide opportunities for US to see and gain insight into "other," and for those others to gain some insight into the American beast as well. Tony is so very genuine and engaged and respectful in these endeavors that he must certainly be providing a more real vision of and version of what it is to be a human American than all of the billboards and advertisements and Hollywood bimbos do put together. At least I hope so. And it is clear to me that you/production go a long way toward helping Tony's self as a emblem bleed through. Great work, Amy, et al.

  42. 42.
    John (Smith)

    I commend the efforts of the producers for going to Saudi Arabia and making this episode. Tony hinting on a few points but I think it should still remembered that these people hate us (United States of America). They would wipe us off the face of the earth if they could. They fund terrorist groups and financed the 911 attacks. These people are not free and they are not are friends.

  43. 43.
    Nicholas

    >It is so important that we "get" that platitude that we are all far more alike than we are different--and by "we" I mean all of us. Crack open a Saudi textbook lately? And I'd love to hear more about how much commonality we share with a culture that hasn't even grasped the concept of religious freedom, let alone equality of the sexes. Let me guess: we all eat food.

  44. 44.
    Mike

    This was a great episode, but as I was watching it, it is very hard to forget that she lives in a country were she can't vote, can't drive, can't go out in public unless she is totally covered and really has very little rights as a woman. Tony of course is the ultimate guest, always aware and very considerate of other countries rules and customs. I think he was ultra aware that Danya really needed his 100 percent respect or all that she has accomplished in her country could very easily be taken away.

  45. 45.
    Michael

    I hope that no women "rethink" the extreme conditions that women face in Saudi Arabia, a country were they can't vote, can't drive, can't own anything, have to wear head to toe clothing or they could be severely punished. Were if raped they are punished as well. This was a great episode, but I hope no one forgets that Danya, has very little if any rights as a woman in her country. My step father spent time there and when he saw women riding in the back of trucks with livestock in the cab!!! He new he was in a very oppressive country. Saudi Arabia is not a fun loving country, well maybe if you are a man. Not if you are a woman. Thye hide behind religion and culture as an excuse for extreme oppression. Please never forget she would be jailed for doing almost anything that a Western woman takes for granted.

  46. 46.
    luckyfatima

    I am a big skeptic when it comes to non-Muslim representations and portrayals of Islam and the Missle East in Western media outlets...I was expecting the worse from Tony's show even though I love the show...he has a penchant for sensationalism, i.e. going around to Cambodia and Mexico and eating bugs and stuff for the "weird" factor rather than showing the everyday food of average people---or in addition to the regular food anyway. It was a bit like this too with the lizard and camel meat in the Saudi episode...none of the Saudis in the show had ever eaten either of them. Anyhow, Tony was very straight foward, very respectful of Islam and also to Saudi culture, not apologetic on some of the things he found to be strange (like the sex segregation and face veil), but at the same time never condescending or insulting. I really really liked the show and found it refreshing as a Muslim woman to see the whole episode. Usually these days shows that touch on the Middle East are spiked with racist/Islamophobic barbs. I also enjoyed your article very much. I do not agree with the Saudi law that legally enforces veiling, but at the same time, you approached the issue and your experience there in a very tolerant and open minded way. A very enlightening perspective. I wear a head scarf and I appreciate the understanding from openminded people like you who are willing to look at a different lifestyle with understanding rather than condescending racist presumptions and lack of sympathy. Thanks again...I hope the show makes it back to the Middle East and the Arabian Gulf in particular...try Oman and eat "shua" next time. No one will force you to wear an abaya there either :-) *I am also pleased that most the above comments are also representative of a tolerant outlook. Peace.

  47. 47.
    Annie Nielsen

    Congratulations on an exceptional show! I think that some people forget the context of this episode. It was not meant to be a hard hitting piece on the culture of Saudi Arabia or the injustices that are apparent for the women of that country. While I am aware of the harsh realities for women in this culture, it was truly moving to see the people and their humanity, their humor and their generosity. It should be mentioned that Danya is an extraordinary woman because what she did for this program involved a risk that some people overlook. Traveling with a man who wasn't a family member or her husband was a big risk. Even 3 days after watching the episode, I find myself still occupied by it's imagery. I totally loved Danya's remark that Saudis do 2 things: eat & shop; the fact that the mall is called the Red Sea Mall, that Saudis love fried chicken. It occurred to me that the ride through the sand dunes was a lot like off-roading in the back roads of American. How very similar we all are... Thank you for an incredible show where so much respect was given to all who were involved.

  48. 48.
    shireen ghazala

    I am a muslim woman living in the United States. Wearing the Abaya is a liberating experience for me.. Men look at my face and not at my breasts when I talk to them!! Most American women want to have a stick thin figure and look gorgeous all the time...Women starve themselves and undergo painful plastic surgeries just so their bodies get a little more attention from the opposite sex. For me this is oppression!This is hard to understand! On the other hand the Abaya gives me so much freedom.. Men judge a woman for the person she is rather than how she looks.. Her beauty is preserved for the people who care the most about her..her husband , her friends, her family.. Strangers dont lust after her and treat her like a piece of meat..they treat her with respect..It preserves her dignity and pride. This is the idea behind the Abaya.. For a vain society that is obsessed with beauty and where a woman's body is her most prized asset it's difficult to understand why women in Saudi Arabia and the some other parts of the world cover up their bodies instead of flaunting it! Most women in Saudi Arabia and the rest of the muslim world who wear the abaya wear it out of their own choice and free will.. Being truly modest and free of vanity is what makes muslim women so strong and free.. We share a unique kind of sisterhood which we are proud of.. Strangely nobody gets it..

  49. 49.
    shireen

    I am a muslim woman living in the United States. Wearing the Abaya is a liberating experience for me.. Men look at my face and not at my breasts when I talk to them!! Most American women want to have a stick thin figure and look gorgeous all the time...Women starve themselves and undergo painful plastic surgeries just so their bodies get a little more attention from the opposite sex. For me this is oppression!This is hard to understand! On the other hand the Abaya gives me so much freedom.. Men judge a woman for the person she is rather than how she looks.. Her beauty is preserved for the people who care the most about her..her husband , her friends, her family.. Strangers dont lust after her and treat her like a piece of meat..they treat her with respect..It preserves her dignity and pride. This is the idea behind the Abaya.. For a vain society that is obsessed with beauty and where a woman's body is her most prized asset it's difficult to understand why women in Saudi Arabia and the some other parts of the world cover up their bodies instead of flaunting it! Most women in Saudi Arabia and the rest of the muslim world who wear the abaya wear it out of their own choice and free will.. Being truly modest and free of vanity is what makes muslim women so strong and free.. We share a unique kind of sisterhood which we are proud of.. Strangely nobody gets it..

  50. 50.
    shireen

    I believe that american people are very open-minded.. it's just that they are not shown the true picture by the media..the media only increases the divide between two different cultures instead of briding the gap for a better understanding.. Anthony Bordain's show was a refreshing change...He did not assume anything inspite of what he was repeatedly told my the media back home about saudi arabia. He went with an open mind willing to find out for himself..He was respectful and tolerant to a culture so different from his own. Truly admirable.

  51. 51.
    Benjamin Orbach

    When I traveled through the Middle East after 9/11, I could stay out to all hours of the morning in male-only coffee shops and ride buses to faraway places in the desert with minimal thought for my personal safety. The one place I could never go though was the women only environments described here. I always wondered what it was like and was always left with second hand anecdotes, like this very thoughtful and openminded one, thank you. Best, Ben Benjamin Orbach author of Live from Jordan www.BenjaminOrbach.com

  52. 52.
    Susanne Maddux

    A big shout out to the editors! Thanks for the 2 second snippet of me in your show. "I'm Susanne Maddux". A fun surprise. I've gone on to use my signature 'stick puppet' video technique in a promo video for my company Hero Bags so thanks for getting me started on making fun videos. As for the abaya... I'll leave it to my 6 year old son's question to sum it all up, "Mom. What really bad thing did those prisoners do that they have to wear black capes and cover their faces?" Susanne Maddux San Francisco Hero Bags www.herobags.com

  53. 53.
    shireen

    Little kids here dont see a woman in an abbaya everyday. Here a kid probably does not find it strange when he sees women almost naked on a beach coz that he sees often here. A Saudi kid if he went to a beach here in the U.S he would be embarassed! He would go hide in his mom's abbaya! He would ask his mom why all the girls were naked? If they are poor can we give them some clothes? Of course I would teach him that in the U.S people dress differently from us and we should be tolerant towards everybody's culture. Summing it up we all should grow up and learn to respect cultures other than our own.

  54. 54.
    Suzy Q

    Thank you for this wonderful, intriguing and informative post. All of you did a great job producing this episode, and it seemed to be an eye-opener for Tony, too.

  55. 55.
    human

    "Grow up"? That's a little naive. If we "grew up" we would realize that a man staring at a woman's breasts while she speaks is her fault for having them, not his for being disrespectful? I don't have to respect a part of a culture I find morally offensive.

  56. 56.
    LaurieA

    I am adding my big ole THANK YOU!!! While I do enjoy the show, finding out the "behind the scenes" details creates a larger sense of understanding the human village. my desire to try new things has become borderline rabid...yes I now have FED; Food experience disorder.

  57. 57.
    gladys

    I just wanna say that i love Tony and is one of his biggest fans without being obssesive about it.I love the show and his potrayal of different cultures without prejudice..what a guy!...I hope he will do a show in Kenya one day and just experience the generosity and culture of the people there..plus it's really beautiful and he can probably go Lion Hunting with a maasai..Thanks for a great show and something tolook forward to on Monday's TV lineup.

  58. 58.
    Mike

    While this was a great episode,we can't forget the incredible oppression women face in the Middle East. I won't excuse there treatment of women, as a "cultural" or a "religious" thing. They have NO choice in the matter. I really hope no one forgets the true facts of it all. Danya spent 5 years trying to get permission to travel without a male relative!! 5 years. She would be jailed or beat or both for doing most anything an American woman takes for granted. Like walking down the street in flip flips, shorts and a nice t-shirt. I am not even talking about string bikinis or tight jeans, just a pair of Abercrombie shorts and an Old Navy t-shirt.

  59. 59.
    Patricia Emmons

    I really enjoyed this show. You offered a whole new viewpoint on the cultural in Saudi Arabia. Like most Americans, I only get to see what the mainstream media and movies want me to see. As usual, this show offers a unique perspective on a cultural that I would otherwise not see. I love the culinary aspect of Anthony's show- you really can get to know the intimate part of a cultural by "breaking bread" with the locals. Thank you.

  60. 60.
    Mike

    Bravo for being so brave for not choosing the easy way out! Your show in Saudi Arabia was an eye opener. Not only you introduced us to an "unknown" country, but also you shattered so many stereotypes and assumptions on the Saudi, Arab, and Muslim societies. Thank you very much, please keep doing what you've been doing.

  61. 61.
    T.S.

    Take your focus off Danya and look at the other women in the background. Do they look happy to you? Oh wait, how can you tell. I find ironic when Muslim women living outside of a Muslim nation comment on how great things are. Why not go back? Or do you enjoy your freedom? A short television episode made to entertain cannot provide a true window into a another culture, no matter how well you spice it. I like the show and will continue to watch, but I remember it's entertainment.

  62. 62.
    Farah Ali

    I actually missed this particular episode of No Reservations, to my regret. It sounded great. It was however, really refreshing to read yours (and Tony's) blog. As a Muslim born and raised here in the U.S. I find it incredibly frustrating when people around me point their fingers at practicing Muslims (especially at women) and go "Poor them. Their religion and/or culture oppresses them." Urgh. "Shut up. We're not." I want to tell them. That's not to say Saudi ISN'T oppressive. Nor am I saying that it is. I've never been so I don't have any intention of forming opinions about its society. You can't know a place til you've actually lived there, right? But the fact of the matter is, we live in a time where our fellow human beings have become so intolerant of each other's differences, we're so quick to form opinions about others' way of living. Yeah, on the one hand there are some groups (like the taliban) that arguably oppressed other groups like women in that they're forced to dress a certain way just for being women, but then on the other end of the spectrum you have places like France that oppress Muslim women in a whole other way - the ones who WANT to practice their religion don't have the freedom to do so. The phrase "live and let live" is honestly one of the most cliched and (sadly) most ignored sayings that come to mind.

  63. 63.
    Mike

    It is a "poor them" issue. Women in Saudi Arabia are not given a "choice" to wear the abbaya. That is what it seems some of you forget. It is easy for women living here in the US that "choose" to wear that kind of clothing, when they KNOW they don't have to. The clothing is only part of it, what about no driving? No voting? If women in Saudi Arabia were given a choice to wear it or not, and chose to wear it I would have no problem with it. But they are FORCED to wear them.

  64. 64.
    John Smith

    I think all of you are doing a wonderful job. I didn't realize the show had been on for 5 seasons. Hope I can catch them all in re-runs. And last but not least, Nari is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Wish you all well and hope the show continues till your all tired of it. John Smith

  65. 65.
    Mary

    A friend of mine knows an American woman who had married a Saudi man. Before 9/11, she lived with her husband in Saudi Arabia, wore the abbaya without much complaint and adjusted to the culture. She worked as a teacher (teaching only girls, of course). But even she reached her limit after 9/11, when her young Saudi students "couldn't hide" how happy they were about the attacks. Most of the people she knew celebrated 9/11. For weeks. She was so disgusted by the general celebrations among her Saudi 'friends', she had to leave the country. Given that polls taken in October 2001 indicate that 95% of educated Saudis support Bin Laden's goals, I'd guess her experience was not unique. Her husband, who was far more attentive than most of the Saudi males portrayed in the news, left the country with her, but he returns occasionally to pursue his work as an architect. Back in the states, I don't think she misses the abbaya or Saudi Arabia at all.

  66. 66.
    Geoff

    I've always recognized the logic of the sun-reflecting, cool, simple thobe, but your story made wonderfully clear the logic of the misunderstood abbaya. I think most, and certainly me, thought it was just another form of oppression, and I think it does have a bit of that thread still in the fabric. Then the reality of Danya wearing it over shorts and a tee, and you over a bikini, just for outdoor purposes, gives the garment a whole new and purposeful meaning. Very cool when you described seeing her for the forst time out of the abbaya, and how sexy that might be. Long entry, hope you know it means I like your blog and show.

  67. 67.
    Ashley Provost

    I find it funny how so many people are saying that the abaya oppresses women, when here in the western side, women are starving themselves to try to be able to wear the latest styles. they go on crazy diets and take diet pills which can ultimately do serious damage to their bodies. or they just go out and spend thousands upon thousands of dollars getting nipped and tucked to forever stay young and appear attractive to the opposite sex. if you ask me, that oppression! having to rely on your looks instead of your intelligence seems like a step backwards instead of forwards. now, I'm not saying lets all go out and and start wearing abayas, but don't turn your nose up on someone elses culture when in fact, your own culture does the exact same thing, but just in a different manner and to Susanne Maddux, you really shouldn't be proud to post your child's ignorance. it shows bad parenting skills.

  68. 68.
    Michael LeFavour

    Shame on you, Teuteberg. Creating a pathetic excuse to justify totalitarianism and gender apartheid is morally obtuse. Why didn't you mention what a wonderful color black is? Or how dirt doesn't show up on it? Or how much weight you can lose wearing black in the hot sun? I went through Marine Corps boot camp where they broke our individuality down by making us all conform to the same mold. There is good in that as it suits a military purpose where lives are on the line in battle, but it is repulsive on a societal level where each person should have an inalienable right to do and act as he/she pleases. No matter how you whitewash and ignore the intolerance, what you left out of the picture in your little blog is irresponsible to the American public that looks to you and your show as a window to the world. I wish all the success to Danya and Dania and their fem powered production company, but do they employ males? The Mutaween will be satisfied if there is at least one male to answer to. Speaking of males, nice of you to mention that any were around with the equivalent of your fine print one liner..."a whole host of male characters lent a hand along the way". You go girl power. Did Danya or Dania mention that you could be raped if you truly went unescorted into the countryside, and that it would be your fault in the eyes of the court without male witnesses (you would still be lashed for being in the company of unrelated males even if the rapists got a couple of years)? Or that 15 school girls burned to death a few years ago in Mecca when the Mutaween would not let them come out of a burning school because the girls were not wearing those abayas you are so enamored with, or accompanied by a male guardian, even a lackey like the janitor for instance? Like it or not you were used as a propaganda dupe by segregationists bent on preserving the politics of oppression. I hope that sits well with the money you made from the show and the warm and fuzzy feeling the Saudis were left with over your gloved treatment of their intolerance.

  69. 69.
    sohbet

    THANK ALOT A GREAT FIREFOX

  70. 70.
    Mohammad

    Well, I do not consider the above negative comments to be so negative. Some of them are expected from people living in the West. The comment by Mr. Kris is very interesting. It really reflects a new understanding of the situation in Saudi Arabia. The real problem is the regime (Royal Family). Islam is not ruling in Arabia. It is Ibn Saud who is ruling in Arabia. http://www.islah.info/index.php?/site/cat_a03/

  71. 71.
    Susanne Maddux

    In response to Ashley Provost's comment. My son is not ignorant. As I mentioned, he's six years old. Last I checked San Francisco public school kindergarten doesn't offer a Middle Eastern Women's Studies class?! Perhaps you should spearhead a letter writing campaign to our Governator? Thanks so much for the help. As for my son's comment the little guy is a SF native, our city celebrates diversity not conformity where a familiar site is a member of the LGBT community in complete drag expressing their individuality rather than a woman in an abaya. It's a cultural difference, which is exactly how I explained the conforming abaya to a six year old. Susanne Maddux San Francisco

  72. 72.
    Carole

    I was introduced to part of your crew through the CBC Radio interview on The Q. I found it very interesting and was thankful that CBC covers stories outside political realms worldwide, such as this one. I recommended the podcast to friends. Thank you

  73. 73.
    evden eve nakliyat

    thank you

  74. 74.
    evden eve nakliyat

    thank you

  75. 75.
    Laura G

    Are you kidding me? You can dress modestly without wearing a black bag. It's hot in Saudi Arabia, and I wonder how many women get heat exhaustion from having to wear those things outdoors. The Saudis are known for their oppressive laws and regulations. I would not get too carried away and plan a trip there. As a Jew, I would not be allowed into the Kingdom, and that's just the start of their bigotry and narrow-mindedness.

  76. 76.
    Scott leBlanc

    It was a really nicely-produced show and I would have been proud of Saudi Arabia if it had been my country. However, this is a sanitized version of the Kingdom shot through rose-colored lens. Jeddah is hardly your typical Saudi city as it is the commercial capital, an ancient port city and the gateway to Makkah so people are used to and oftentimes tolerant of foreigners. Having said that, the idea of Tony Bourdain going into the Family Section of Al-Baik with a Saudi woman without attracting the intercession of the local muttawah (religious police) or even ordinary Saudis accosting them affects the credibility of the whole show. I saved the episode on my DVR and showed it to my wife and daughter and they were incredulous when they saw Tony and Danya having a meal at the Balad souk, the same spot where a Saudi man, when I was working in Jeddah not too long ago, had asked me to make sure my wife's hair is covered with her abaya (she doesn't like to have the hood over her head). I'm sure it's not as bad as it used to be but Saudi Arabia is not Dubai or Kuwait Or Oman or Qatar where you can go about freely, without escorts and fixers, and enjoy genuine interaction with the locals and experience Arabic hospitality that is authentic and not scripted.

  77. 77.
    truth seeker

    The main problem in Saudi Arabia is not the royal family although they are a problem. The royal family has tried on several occasions to give women more freedom and the people of Saudi Arabia threatened massive political instability as a result. The oppressive "royal family" is more liberal than the people. None of this could persist without Islam. No other culture treats women this way. Islam is a tool of oppression and slavery. Time for Muslims to wake up. If you doubt what I say... then tell your fellow Muslims you no longer believe and see how they treat you!

  78. 78.
    Maggie Magnussons

    That's all well and good, but until the men have to wear that "only intimate friends get to see my real self" garb, of ANY color, it's still patently offensive and controlling. The article was interesting, yes, but not a lot different from extolling the virtues of prison, because "after all, you get fed, clothed, and housed for free!" Oh yeah, and you get to wear uniforms, freeing you from those vexing wardrobe choices. I don't see a lot of difference. Except you get to choose to go to prison, but no one chooses when, where, and what gender to be born--Saudi womens' only crime.

  79. 79.
    Andye

    I would say alot but I'm not...having been raised in several international communities in the United states where many women wear the abbayah (including myself from time to time) -by free will- I was happy to see the heart of "the culture" shown in this programme. I watch this episode quite often...over and over again...maybe three times each chance I decide to turn it on via I Pod... Danya's laugh was fabulous...her spirit was warm and I only wish that I could have been a PA on staff just to meet her! Keep us posted on any of her projects!!

  80. 80.
    Amy

    Wow, what an excellent memoir. My ex-boyfriend is from Jeddah, I met him because we're both in college right now, and I still hang out with a lot of our mutual Saudi friends. Me and one of the guys' girlfriends talk a lot about how we could never, ever go to Saudi and wear the hijabs/abayas but this tasteful article kind of makes me almost reconsider.... hm. Since I met these people, I noticed myself dressing a lot more modestly, too, just because it kind of helps keep (usually) Western men's minds off the obvious a little bit, sex, like you said. If anything it was nice to hear about the city I heard so much about from the Saudi guys from a Western, female perspective. :)

  81. 81.
    sohbet

    thank you

  82. 82.
    R. E. James

    Danya's show was one of my wife and I's favorites. This is the second time we watched it on the 'Labor-Day Marathon'. We have toggled between NR and Hurricane Gustoff most of the day. Of the choices Tony had to make, I applaud him for the no-booze option. What a wonderful inside view of a 'character' Danya and her slice of life. Her attitude and willingness to try the food was refreshing. The camera work was superb as usual. The season is over and we look forward to season five. I would like to see a run to the Phillipines and one of my favorite 'countries', Alaska, from a native standpoint. SE Alaska is one of my favorite get-aways with the different native, local traditions. Keep up the eye-opening, mind- expanding shows.

  83. 83.
    capt jeff

    that girls, was a great lesson... back in college, and in the military, both enlisted and after OCS/commisioning, i traveled quite a bit in the world, but never did i get a such inciteful lesson on the abbaya... i always recieved a male prespective on the garments, not a womans for obvious reasons... you women did a bang-up job!!! thanks...

  84. 84.
    Alex

    I really enjoyed this episode. I love learning about other countries and cultures- especially those that might be misunderstood in many ways. It is cool seeing different perspectives and seeing that we aren't so different in a lot of ways. I think we all as the human species need to spend more time learning about and understanding each other better to create a more peaceful world.

  85. 85.
    John

    OMG. I can't believe the reality was sugar coated underneath the pretext of understanding and appreciation. Get with it. They're still OPPRESSORS when you left the country, Amy. They only accomodated you and Danya (my deepest appreciations for her trail-blazing efforts, however) because it was a chance to propogate their brand of extreme autocracy under the guise of seeming respect for the female form. In short, you got duped.

  86. 86.
    Lynn

    Shireen and any others who share this delusion, "Most American women want to have a stick thin figure and look gorgeous all the time...Women starve themselves and undergo painful plastic surgeries just so their bodies get a little more attention from the opposite sex"

    Do a little research and I think you will find that there is probably a higher percentage of women obsessed with their appearance and bodies and getting plastic surgeries in Saudi Arabia than the U.S.A.

  87. 87.
    David

    Abbaya, cage to protect and restrict. Like a rare animal in a pretty zoo.

  88. 88.
    Linda b

    Thank you for an unbiased attitude. I taught in Saudi Arabia in the women's medical college and it always annoys me that people think Saudi women are all opressed little mice. They have to work harder like Danya to shine, it is true, but they are working on it. We have our share of oppressed litte mice right here in spite of our so-called freedoms. Go Danya!!!

  89. 89.
    evden eve nakliyat

    Thank you

  90. 90.
    hanan

    cheers:)
    i'm really glad u enjoyed ur stay in jeddah
    i just saw "NO reservations" on u tube and i loved how u went to all the different places in jeddah;from deserts to malls..
    and i hope that whenever ur here again just send an email so i can show u around all the other amazing places here in jeddah - which btw is my hometown:)

  91. 91.
    Ummsantos

    Thanks for the non-ethnocentric and objective post! As a Bolvian convert to Islam who married an Afghan (Pashton)and lived in Mauritania, it is nice to see that some people make the best of any situation. I have worn everything from Tank tops to full Burqah (my choice-OMG!) and it has always been my choice. DO I agree with everything some countries enforce? No. But when you are a guest and observing other cultures it is best to do as the Romans do (is that how the saying goes?). Otherwise, stay home.

  92. 92.
    Janet Archer

    IT only took me a year to find this program that I missed last July. Since I recruit medical, teaching, engineering staff to work in the middle east I don't know how I missed it. But is now enbedded in my web site.

    Thank you Dania.
    I wish we could get together for some tea.

    Kind Regards.
    I am sending some folks to work at KAUST.

    Ma Sallama
    Janet

  93. 93.
    evden eve nakliyat

    ı really enjoyed this episode. I love learning about other countries and cultures- especially those that might be misunderstood in many ways. It is cool seeing different perspectives and seeing that we aren't so different in a lot of ways. I think we all as the human species need to spend more time learning about and understanding each other better to create a more peaceful world.

  94. 94.
    Sunheri

    Hi,

    I would like to know more about Jeddah as I am soon getting married to an Indian boy residing in Jeddah

  95. 95.
    projeksiyon

    valuable information, thank you very much for sharing with us

  96. 96.
    Fx15

    Thank you for an unbiased attitude. I taught in Saudi Arabia in the women's medical college and it always annoys me that people think Saudi women are all opressed little mice. They have to work harder like Danya to shine, it is true, but they are working on it. We have our share of oppressed litte mice right here in spite of our so-called freedoms. Go Danya!!!

  97. 97.
    Rebecca

    I find it interesting that Anthony was such a sourpuss initially about going to Greece, but was so laudatory about eating fried chicken and a camel? I found this episode to be the most disingenuous, lel alone...boring. Do you really think he could be honest about this culture? No! He would have a Jihad on his ass. What would Saudi Arabia be without oil!?

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